On Thanksgiving: "Wait. I'm confused. I thought all turkeys are wild."

Do people in Canada celebrate Christmas?

L's Word of the Day
Interflicting: a combination of interfering and conflicting, as in "I think your singing is interflicting with his hearing."

"All the letters of the alphabet are different in lowercase and uppecase. Why? Who comes up with this stuff? Why doesn't it make sense?"

Me: "How about a job at Home Depot?"
L: "No! For one, the clothes you have to wear are hideous."

L eating chicken wings: "So, do these come from tiny chickens?"

The nicest thing my wife has ever said to me, and she said it in the sweetest tone: "My life sucks because of you."

L has a stomach ache and immediately concludes that she has dysentery. We then talk about dysentery for a minute and I get this gem: "Oh, dysentery is a disease?"

"A muskrat? Don't they live in the dessert?"

"Wait, did you know that people live in space?"
- after reading an article about the international space station

"I feel like I am one of the Kardashians. I think I am their long lost sister."

"I just want to grow into the bed. But I want to be able to talk so I can say 'Feed me.'"

"It's not rocket science. It's not like I discovered the equation of life or something."

Passing by a used car lot: "I have never seen so many cars. It must be a bar."

"Kids are really weird. They are like humans that are really little."